Family related Adulting milestones

(7) Purchased household appliances and computer stuff

So Covid again changed the way lived. And with home schooling, there was a big need to get each child their own mobile device for online school. And I don’t know what it was but in late 2019, during the 11.11 sale in Nov, I went and bought myself a microwave and a printer. And this was before they announced WFH and home schooling. But it was such good luck because we used that microwave so much while staying at home during lockdown. I even got a microwave and printer for my parents’ house, too! That was a big thing cos you know, I never had to buy them stuff like that before. And it felt really good to be able to do that for my parents.

Now a huge part of my fangirling life had been spent translating and creating subtitles for videos as part of a subbing team. I would download 1-3 gb 1080p HD videos (sometimes bigger) and then sub and encode it and upload it on some video streaming site all on my trusty Lenovo laptop. When covid struck, and they announced kids would need to do online school, I knew I had to retire from subbing completely and give my laptop to my eldest to use for school. And it really was a big effort to move all my files into external disk drives and reformat the whole computer for my daughter to use. And then I was suprised at how once I moved everything into an external HDD, I never looked back. Like I literally never even once wanted to watch a video that I’d previously downloaded. Or I never even once felt like I needed to download and install aegisubs on another device. It really felt like an era of my life had ended. But nowadays loads of shows are already subbed on viu and netflix, so my subbing phase ended with no regrets.

I was also incredibly lucky in that I could claim for my electronic purchases. So while I bought my second child a new ipad (we already had one ipad, so now we have 2) for online school in 2020, I was then able to get her a chromebook in 2021 and claimed for that, too. I claimed the cost of my printer, too. I used my company’s benefits to the max during covid, I must say. This was a big thing for me cos I rarely make many big purchases (other than for concerts), but I spent quite a lot of money on appliances during covid, and I felt like that was the responsible thing to do. I feel really bad for the kids whose parents couldn’t afford to buy them a cheap computer. The chromebook is really not expensive (cheaper than an ipad) and yet there were some parents that felt like a mobile phone was enough for a child to do home schooling on. I am not gonna judge those parents, but I felt proud of myself for being able to elevate my child’s home schooling experience by getting them new, bigger devices, you know what I mean?

(8) Treated my daughter to a shopping-spree type birthday party

I was in a good place financially towards the end of 2020 due to the loan moratorium and having paid off my student loan, so that during the short period where lockdown was removed in Q4 of 2020, I told my eldest she could take 4 friends out for lunch and shopping for her 12th birthday. It’s always been a dream of mine to have her do something “grown-up” for her birthday and 2020 was that year!

We had lunch at our fave korean chicken place, they tried on clothes in Forever 21 and H&M, and they even had “coffee” at Starbucks (I think they all mostly ordered chocolate frap). For a 12 year old it’s a big thing to hang out at a cafe. And I also was respectful of my daughter’s insecurities about my fangirling and refrained from putting on any kpop music in the car! Good job on me! haha. It didn’t matter that her friends also listened to kpop, I just had to pretend that I didn’t. Whatever makes my child happy.

Doing this shopping birthday party was such a milestone for me because just being able to have enough money to spend spontaneously on whatever her and her friends wanted was such a big deal to me. It also meant my daughter had grown up and needs to be treated more like a teen. I am so so so happy and proud of myself to reach this milestone when I did because it’s like a coming of age for both me and her. She’s 13 going onto 14 now and she really has changed. It’s parenting on a different level I tell you. I am a little scared even at the thought of being a parent to 2 teens…. the youngest is still 10 so still a couple of years to go but we’re getting there.

(9) Hired an interior decorator to restyle my daughter’s room

Covid makes people depressed. Being stuck at home makes people depressed. Unless your home is pretty that is. So that was the rationale. 2020 passed and we were depressed. I was depressed being stuck at home. Imagine how my daughter felt with her ugly room. I have an ugly room but I’m a Type B personality so I can sort of overlook that as long as I have other things that make me happy. But I could tell my daughter was happier staying at her grandma’s house than at home. We had a few lockdowns take place during 2020 – 2021, and one of those lockdowns was spent at my parents house instead of my own because it took place right after Eid. We visited them for Eid and were stuck there and couldn’t go home until the lockdown was over 5 months later. This was now 2021.

I had a lot of time to think about how to make my daughter happier at home, and the first thing that came to mind was I had to redecorate her room. Get rid of all the old stuff in there (like the double decker bed, the old bookshelves and desk etc etc) and make it a brighter, happier place for her so that she’d actually want to come back home instead of staying at my parents’ place. For one, I can’t stand my mom so couldn’t wait to go back home. And second, school was going to restart so she’d need to come home eventually, and I really wanted her to come back feeling good and not shitty.

That’s when I decided I should test out an interior decorater (ID) to redo this 1 room so that I’d know what to expect when I renovate my entire house when the new property is finally completed. I watched a great deal of home makeover shows on HGTV and you know what, just trust your instincts! If you think it’s cheaper and better to do it yourself, just do it yourself. Jeez, I learned that the hard way. The ID I chose was a female-run company that was small-ish, so I thought they’d be a safe choice, but no, there were actually more cons than pros. I don’t want to go into this whole rant, but I recommend you buying all the furniture yourself, have it shipped yourself, and then just get the contractor to help you assemble it. What was annoying with the ID were the delays. The bed that they ordered arrived late. The wallpaper they ordered did not even arrive so we ended up scrapping it. The peg board they ordered also did not arrive on time, so they cancelled it. I ended up having to go to Spotlight on the last day to buy a wooden wall art to make up for the lost wallpaper. My favorite part of the whole thing was styling her bed. And just like in those HGTV shows, I bought the big fluffy pillows, 3 different cushions, matching sheets and quilt cover, matching throw blanket, matching rugs… all from Spotlight lmao. Spotlight is great for that kinda stuff. Restyling a room can do wonders in lifting your spirits!

Now that I know all these things, for the new home renovation, I am going to do most of the furniture and kitchen appliances shopping myself. I might even paint the walls myself. It’s probably cheaper to also get the wallpaper installed by the wallpaper vendor than getting the ID/contractor to install it. Bedroom wardrobes will be from ikea (cos cheapest and nicest and still have a 10 year guarantee) and I’ll probably only order the kitchen cabinets from whichever kitchen reno specialist. Like honestly, if you can do it yourself, just do it yourself. All the furniture the ID sourced were from places I already knew, so really I could have done it myself for cheaper. And if you feel like you don’t know how to style a room, just look at different home interior magazines (I subscribed to an online magazine portal just so I can do this, also claimable from my company as “magazine subscriptions”). Stuff like color templates and color combinations, Nippon paint has a site that helps you decide matching color combinations, so really, you can do it yourself.

But all in all, the room redecoration was a success! Because it’s nice and bright in there now, and she never leaves her room. She even brings her meals into her room. Which is not a very good thing, but whatever, as long as she eats. She now hates eating with us, but whatever, as long as she eats. We communicate mostly by text now. It must be some teenage thing, but again, whatever makes her happy. I am okay as long as she’s happy and healthy and not depressed. Which I don’t think she is.

Hiring a professional to redecorate was the most Adult thing I did in 2021. So even though there were mishaps, I still consider this a milestone because I now know what to expect. This experience taught me that I’m more competent than I give myself credit for. I really should just trust myself more. Patting myself on the back right now for handling 2020 & 2021 as well as I did.